The Places In My Garden
From time to time, I enjoy returning to the pages I’ve written during other stages of my life to see how they have unfolded in my current life. Recently, this has been really connective and somewhat cathartic for me — and it has allowed me to remember these messages, or maybe see them through another lens.
These are some of the whispers I read about when I feel lost or off balance. I am here working on, and learning how to show up for, vulnerability through sharing these pages with others.
7.3.20 (Meditation/yoga journal)
Stay present. Remain consistent. Focus on the gifts that you have received. Remember and dream. Set new goals that challenge you out of your comfort zone. Look at all your possibilities and all your accomplishments… which one has more? All those things you dream about… are you ok with leaving them in your dreams or should some become a reality? This world belongs to all of us but your world is yours — so decide what you need and what you want. Vision boards and new goals!
How do these things relate to me now? What was happening that I felt the need to write that? The things I journal about often feel like the messages from a deeper place inside me; places that I once knew about but had forgotten, or maybe I’d chosen to not remember. Maybe they are tiny messages that unfolded and are given to me like whispers in my ear when I think I’m lost. Perhaps they have been shouting from the depths of my soul and I’ve been unable or unwilling to hear them until now! Staying present with myself; over the last several years I have worked exceedingly hard on this and continue to do so…its not that easy all the time and sometimes the “person” I’m with when I’m alone with her is awful. Sometimes I cannot stand to be with myself and what I’m feeling. The present is the only place I am actually given to create what I want in the future; and even though the future is not promised, I’m not one to allow others to decide for me, so it feels fairly important to decide what I want for myself (like steering my own ship! LOL!).
I love using vision boards and vision books (especially books) because this is like a playground for what I see and dream for myself. I would say that returning to my books sometimes feels like checking on a garden after it’s been planted; have they flourished and spread or not yet bloomed? My journals and vision books feel like my own secret garden that continue to expand with endless possibilities. When I go back and see what I once dreamed of for myself, what I intended to create for me, then actually created in life… I feel my heart beating faster with excitement!!!
I remember the endless ideas and thoughts I promised myself were possible, then realize how possible. Sometimes I forget what I dreamed about until I return to the pages I created in my yesterdays. Now, I remember how badly I want a tomorrow, so I run to my journals and vision books to create a tomorrow that feels like a place I want to be. If I continue to fill my pages I will continue to grow my garden.